Living Life Inside a Tin Can
by GingerGirl221
Summary: Icarus II has another vital crew member. This is her story. CapaOC. Rated M for strong language, sexual content, and violence. Large portions of dialogue taken verbatim from movie.
1. Video Booth

**A/N: Short chapter; a kind of prologue, if you will. I'd like to see if there's any interest in this before I post more.**

**So review, please!**

* * *

She sat in the tiny video booth, trying desperately to sooth her quiet sobbing. If Harvey heard her, he'd ask too many questions she didn't want to answer and smother her with what he would assume to be comforting embraces and annoying shushes. She choked out a muffled cry at the thought of him rocking her back and forth.

She didn't even really know why she was crying. It wasn't like the video package she'd just received contained any depressing news from home. Her mother and father were simply telling her how much they loved her and how proud they were that she was their daughter (like they did in every message). Her mom showed her the new tennis bracelet her dad gave her for their anniversary and her dad told her about his latest surgical endeavor. He'd operated on a patient whose lungs were full of tumors; it had been successful.

She was just experiencing a little bout of homesickness. That's all. She'd be home in a couple of years. Everything would be fine and everything would go back to normal. The mission would be a great success and they'd all be hometown heroes when they returned to Earth.

Wiping away her tears, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Tried to calm her rapid heartbeat. Removing the elastic tie from her more strawberry than blonde hair, she quickly braided it and flung it in front of her shoulder so her dad could see it; he always loved her hair. She made sure she looked halfway presentable and took another moment to compose herself. She pressed the record button and began her message with a cheerful smile.

"Ciao bella, mamma! Bonjour papa!" She fluctuated her accent to fit each of her parents' native languages in turn. She read to them from her journal and showed them several of the sketches she drew of various things she observed. She talked about her crewmates and discussed the new development she had made with Corazon in regards to increasing the oxygen and protein levels in their apples. Realizing she was coming up on her ten minute time limit, she knew she had to sign off. She sighed and looked at her lap, then back up at the screen.

"OK, well. I have to go now." She looked down at her lap again, then back. "Um, this'll probably be the last message you get from me. Apparently we'll be flying into the dead zone a little sooner than we thought? And, because of the high magnetic energy levels on Mercury or… whatever, that'll prohibit us from being able to send or receive video packages. Harvey just told me. He, um… he hasn't told everyone else yet." She paused. Hot tears sprang to her eyes again and, this time, she didn't fight them. "So… this is it!" She took a deep shaky breath and tried to smile. Her lip quivered instead. She looked everywhere but the image of herself on the screen.

"Thank you guys for all your support. I know it must have been hard to send your only daughter into…" She couldn't finish that sentence. "Um… you guys are the best. I love you. I'll miss getting your messages." A choking sob interrupted her momentarily. She wiped her mouth and nose on the back of her hand. "But I know you know everything will be OK." She started picking at her nails as the tears fell silently down her cheeks. Suddenly, a red light began to flash slowly; her two minute warning. She'd have to hurry.

"OK… I really have to go now." The flashing light reflected on her face and shone against her wet cheeks. "I love you both so much! You'll never know…" _Why did she feel like she was saying goodbye for the last time? Could she be any more foolish?_ "I'll see you in my dreams. And keep an eye out for that sunshine. It's on its way." She forced another happy smile. "Arrivederci and au revoir!" She blew them a kiss and waved. Pressed the send button for the last time. The flashing light stopped; the other lights dimmed and she cried alone in the dark.


	2. Study Session

**A/N: **All right folks! Second chapter is up! I've been busy editing this thing, so sorry for the long period between updates. Hopefully that'll change soon and I'll be getting them up quicker now. Shout-outs go to my two reviewers and alert gals: Abigail Black and PrincessDudette! You ladies are amazing and I appreciate your interest in my humble story. This chapter, as well as future chapters, will be long since I myself enjoy reading lengthy chapters. So, without further ado, here's chapter two! ;)  
(P.S.- I'm taking suggestions as to a possible new title. So send in your ideas!)

* * *

She was glad Harvey wasn't in the comms room anymore when she exited. Her brown eyes were red and puffy and her face was blotchy. Her mascara had all but been completely wiped away. She pressed her cold hands against her face and began to walk down the hall toward the kitchen.

_Coty? It's your turn for cooking duty tonight._

"Yes, Icarus. I know; I'm on my way to the kitchen now. Thank you for the reminder."

_You're welcome, Coty._

Icarus' cool voice soothed Coty as she wiped her eyes again. She pressed the tips of her index and middle fingers against her hot eyelids. She didn't need to have her eyes open to know where she was going.

_Are you feeling all right? You sound distressed and your vitals show an increase in heart rate and elevated tear production._

Sometimes it bothered Coty how Icarus knew _everything_, _all the time_.

"I'm fine Icarus. Thank you for your concern."

_You're welcome, Coty. Would you like me to notify Dr. Searle or to schedule an appointment in the Earth Room?_

"No. No, thank you Icarus. That won't be necessary. Thank you." That was the last thing she wanted; even more time with Searle.

_If you insist, Coty._

Icarus bid her goodbye as she turned the corner.

"_Shit_," Coty muttered under her breath; Mace was at the end of the hallway, walking toward her. His head was down; he was carrying one of the many small personal computers and reading something on the screen. _Just what she needed right about now._

He hadn't cut his hair or shaved in months. Not that he'd become unsanitary; he just looked a little worse for wear. He wore a simple dark blue T-shirt with the customary light blue multi-pocketed cargos they'd all been given. His communication device hung around his neck and swung back and forth, back and forth. Even the top of his head looked arrogant to Coty. She was hoping he'd pass her without looking up, but no such luck.

His eyes met hers quicker than she could look in the other direction; but she couldn't look away now. He would certainly take that as a sign of submission. And, goddamn it, she was sure as hell not his concubine. She cursed inwardly as a sly smile broke out on his face.

"Well, well, well; what have we here?" he began tauntingly. "Looks like little Coty's been crying. What's the matter baby, your time of the month?" _God, if only she could sock him one. Right in the jaw. But no one would be there to see it; and that wouldn't bring any satisfaction._

"Fuck you, Mace," she spat, pushing past him. He whirled around to watch her walk away, an amused smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

"Yes, please," he muttered. She flipped him off, her right arm high in the air, and continued on her way.

She burst through the entrance of the kitchen and began preparing dinner in a huff. Pots and pans clashed and clanged together noisily as she shamelessly became a whirling dervish. She boiled water for pasta (she wasn't in the mood to make anything fancy tonight) and Trey and Capa, sitting at the lighted dining table, looked at each other. Trey shrugged, raised his eyebrows, and kept reviewing the documents on the handheld computer in front of him; Capa shifted awkwardly in his seat and chanced a sideways glance at Coty. Her face was red from anger or possibly from crying; Capa couldn't really tell which. Without looking at him, she responded violently.

"_What?!_"

Capa jumped from her unexpected reaction. "Nothing," he stated simply and flew out of his seat to run away and check on his payload, his hands deep in his pockets and his head down.

* * *

An hour later, dinner was set and ready to go. Coty asked Icarus to collect the crew from their various places on the ship; Capa was with his payload, Corazon in her Oxygen Garden, Searle in the Observation deck, Kaneda was holed up in his quarters, Trey had never left his seat at the table, Cassie was in her usual spot at the flight deck, Mace was checking the coolant tanks, and Harvey had to be awakened from a nap. He was the last one to arrive.

Coty had calmed down considerably since her confrontation with Mace, but still felt a surge of anger when he dared to look at her. She refused to raise her eyes to him; blood and pasta didn't mix too well and she didn't want to chance it. It'd probably taste even worse if it was Mace's bitter blood mingled with the noodles, that motherfucker.

"All right, guys; it's that time again: vitamins," Coty chimed cheerfully as everyone began to dig in to their dinners. She placed little clear plastic cups next to everyone's plates, full to the brim with brightly colored pills. "So bottoms up!"

She explained to them what each pill was and why they needed to take it, as usual. She didn't really need to anymore though; they'd cared the first time she'd explained everything but since then had lost interest. They'd been on _Icarus_ for fourteen months and had practically committed her little speech to memory. Every two months, Coty would increase their vitamin intake and give them all a special pill she'd designed herself to help cleanse and detoxify their systems. But, they indulged her and feigned attention. She knew they didn't care, but it gave her something useful to talk about for a little while.

Coty was the ship's resident nutrition scientist and astronaut hygienist. She'd been hired by the space program to develop new methods of food preservation, to help concentrate as much nutrition and vitamin levels into the foods that would be grown on and supplied to the first _Icarus_ mission, and to provide information on the type and nature of "space dust," to calculate the levels of dust in the atmosphere, and to assess the exposure risks to health that the mission presented. She would've been apart of _Icarus I_'s lost crew if she'd completed her space training on time, but she hadn't. Upset and disappointed at the time, she was grateful now.

After she was finished, she retrieved the salad she'd made for herself from the counter and sat down between Searle and Harvey, criss-crossing her legs. They eyed her cautiously before exchanging a glance over her head. Harvey approached the situation gingerly.

"Just a salad tonight, eh Coty?" He was careful to make his tone as light and casual as possible and not look at her when he spoke. This was her fourth day in a row eating just the leafy greens for dinner. Harvey barely saw her eat much else any other time of day. She sighed, not caring to hide her exasperation.

"Yep, Harvey. I'm just not too hungry tonight for some reason." She shot a look at Mace and he stood his ground a moment before dropping his eyes.

"Must be tryin' to lose a few pounds, huh?" he countered a few seconds too late. He wasn't as quick as he'd hoped with the comeback; he must've been more tired than he thought. He usually snapped them back within mere milliseconds of Coty's smartass little digs and remarks. He raised his eyes to meet hers again and she simply stared back, unamused. That sly smile crept up on his face and he took another bite of pasta. She ignored his comment and returned to her salad. An uncomfortable silence settled around the table. Everyone looked around at each other nervously, except the two feuding crewmates. The only sound was that of crunching lettuce as Coty chewed her food. Corazon decided to break the silence.

"Well, the oxygen levels are steadily increasing. Right now we have enough to make it there," she told them. She smiled and they nodded. Idle, pleasant dinner conversation ensued.

Finishing her salad, Coty looked down at her watch.

"Capa, do you want to have that lesson before it gets too late?" she asked him. He nodded fiercely and wiped his mouth with his napkin.

"Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea." The two stood and gathered their dishes.

"Your turn for cleaning duty tonight, Trey," Coty reminded him. She patted his shoulder as she walked behind him and toward the sleeping quarters, Capa close behind.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" Trey muttered good-naturedly as the two exited the room. Leaning back in his chair to see if the two were out of earshot, Mace spoke up.

"What exactly do you think they _do_ in there?" he asked, his incredulous face turned toward Corazon.

"Capa's teaching her all that dark matter bomb stuff," explained Cassie. "She told me she was interested in learning about it."

"Yeah, _right_. She's probably just interested in him. If you ask me, I think they're fucking each other."

"No one asked you," replied Cassie, Corazon, and Trey in unison. Searle and Harvey smiled silently. Even Kaneda let a chuckle escape. Mace furrowed his brows angrily and stood to leave.

"Yeah, well… Whatever."

* * *

"OK, see this equation right here?—"

"This one?"

"Yeah, that one. I _am_ pointing to it, aren't I?"

"Alright, alright. Sheesh."

"Do you want me to teach this to you or not? OK, this equation—"

"Which one?"

"I'm leaving."

"No, no don't! Come on, I'm just teasing!"

"Will you shut up? You'll wake the whole ship."

"Look, I'm sorry that I can't understand it! It's not my fault you're a bad teacher!" Coty exclaimed in sudden frustration.

Capa and Coty were facing one another on Capa's small bed. He had his head resting against the wall, one hand to his forehead. He'd drawn his long legs up to himself and dropped his head; his eye sockets fit perfectly into his knobby knees.

He'd been trying to explain a – what he thought was – fairly simple concept to her for the past half hour. She kept asking questions and Capa knew if she just stayed quiet long enough, she would understand what the fuck he was talking about. It wasn't like she was dumb or anything.

"Maybe you're just a bad student," Capa stated with a sly smile, cocking his head to the side. She scoffed, feigning offense.

"That's impossible." She fought to suppress a yawn. She was lying on her stomach, her knees grazing the wall to make room for both of them on the bed. Papers were spread out before them. "Well, are you gonna teach me anymore or what?" To be perfectly honest, he was tired and needed to take a piss. So he stood up.

"I don't think so; not tonight anyway. It's late. Besides, I need to use the bathroom," he replied. He pressed a button; the frosted glass changed to clear and slid open for him. He left her lying on his bed and he walked to the bathroom.

_Icarus_ had entered her sleep cycle two hours ago. Capa and Coty hadn't talked to or seen anyone since dinner; now everyone was dozing silently in their quarters.

Capa passed Mace's bunk and noticed he'd forgotten again to turn on the privacy frost. He looked like a bigger idiot when he slept, if that was even possible. He was sprawled on his back, his mouth open wide, half the covers kicked off and Capa could hear him snoring loudly. He paused in front of his room, face contorting into one of great disgust. He flipped the switch on the outside of the pod and the glass became frosted again. He'd moved out of their shared dorm a month ago after the rest of the crew feared they'd murder each other in their sleep.

After he used the lavatory, he walked into the kitchen and got himself a glass of water. He remembered how his mom used to always get him a cup of water before bed back on Earth, even when he was twenty-three and still living at home.

When he came back, Coty'd already fell asleep. Her head was turned to the side, facing him, but she remained lying on her stomach. Her delicate hand had fallen lazily on top of the sheets and papers and her legs had shifted to hang off the side of the bed in a sideways fashion that was sort of cute. He observed the way her back rose and fell with her steady breathing.

He felt the sudden urge to kiss her, show her the affection he had been dying to communicate for so long. She looked so peaceful when she slept (something he was envious of) and seemed so childlike and small. He studied her for a long time from the safe distance of the doorway.

The hair he'd wanted to run his hands through was still in its braid but large chunks of it had escaped; a wavy strip fell over her face and stuck to her bottom lip. Her oversized gray sweatshirt from her alma mater engulfed her and the sleeves covered her fingers. Capa's mind tuned out and his eyes wandered down to her lower half.

She wore her favorite boxer shorts: the pink ones with the green polka dots. She always said that she refused to sacrifice her personal style just because she was going on a deep space mission; besides, what if she met a cute alien? He thought the shorts made her ass look fantastic and he was glad she brought them with her. Although, he'd never let her know. While he focused more on her backside, she stirred; moaned a little. He suddenly looked around, embarrassed that he'd been looking at that aspect of her anatomy. He chuckled at his foolishness for thinking that anyone could possibly see him.

He knew he couldn't wake her up to ask her to leave, couldn't carry her back to the room she shared with Cassie because that would wake Cassie up. Blushing, he realized Coty was in _his_ bed. _Coty_. In _his _bed. Of course, he'd always imagined himself being in there with her, but hey: he'd take what he could get. Moving toward her, he cleared his throat awkwardly. She didn't wake up but moved a little again, bringing her hand up to rest a finger against her lip; he glimpsed the bottom row of her white teeth.

Capa quietly attempted to shift her position so he could pick her up. If she slept that way all night, her neck would certainly bother her in the morning. He touched her shoulder and went to put his hands underneath her waist, but she moaned again and did the work for him. It startled him and he shot back up. He carefully slipped the papers out from under her and pinned them back on the wall; they'd study again some other time. He was glad he'd hid the poem he'd written about her under his mattress. He put his arms underneath her and lifted; her sweatshirt moved up a little and he could feel the soft skin on the side of her tight stomach. He felt his own skin grow warm.

Sighing, she drew an arm around his neck as a reflex. She burrowed her head into his chest and let her hand drop from his neck to rest over his heart. Capa chuckled once nervously and closed his eyes. He lowered his head to breath in her scent; she just smelled like the same soap they all used. Nothing special. But she made it seem so exotic, and unique, and… sexy. He licked his lips.

He clumsily pushed back the covers with his knuckles; he tried not to swing her back and forth too much. The precision he took in lying her down in his bed was quite a sight. But he was thankful no one was around to witness it. Mace would laugh at him and tell him to "Become a man and just fuck her already." "Had he ever even had sex with a girl before?" He could just hear him saying those things. _Prick_.

Pulling the covers over her body, he looked down at her, head cocked to the side. He pushed the stray piece of hair out of her face softly and removed the few strands that still clung to her mouth. His thumb hovered over her lips a little longer than he intended. Turning away quickly, he grabbed the spare blanket off the shelf and pressed the button to close the door. The glass frosted, the lights were turned out.

He'd sleep in the dining room tonight.


	3. Contact

She dreamt about the day before the launch of the _Icarus I_.

The previous week she had been formally notified that she was being removed from the mission, although she had known that for quite a while; there was no way she could finish her training in just under a month.

She sat in the passenger seat of Daniel's red truck. The two had begun a secret affair within months of meeting one another and, in Coty's opinion, it was continuing far too long. After all, he was almost old enough to be her father and she didn't really love him anyway. But he was leaving tomorrow and she knew it would be ending within hours so she was content.

Her head leaned against the cold window of the car and she stared blankly out as the world of white whizzed past her. It was dark and they had left campus to get coffee at a small, local café a few hours ago, but were now on their way back.

"You're quiet," he observed as he turned his head to glance at her. His voice sounded far away and had an underwater quality to it that made Coty uneasy even in her sleeping state. "What's wrong?" Without turning toward him, she had responded dully.

"How would you be if you just found out the mission you'd devoted the last two years of your life to was kicking you out of it?" Daniel's only response was silence.

The rest of the drive home was skipped and the next thing Coty saw was their brick dorm building. They were still sitting in the car; it was snowing heavily and the one light came from a nearby streetlamp. The edges of her vision were fuzzy.

"Will you come to the launch tomorrow?" Coty turned in her seat to look at him. Her puffy coat made distant crinkling noises. His deep brown eyes were desperate and his newly shaven head was hidden under a black winter hat. She took a deep breath and shook her head; her movements were slower than they'd been in reality.

"No. I don't think I'll be able to." He began to protest but she cut him off. "Don't ask me to, Daniel. You have to understand, it's too difficult." She looked down at her lap but couldn't see anything.

"Can I bring this picture of you with me?" he asked, pulling a small photo out of his wallet. He smiled and showed her.

"Oh God, Daniel! Not that picture! I hate it. Look at my face!" She ripped it out of his hand and scrunched up her nose in disgust. He'd taken it after one of their first nights together. She was sitting on the couch in his dorm room with the blanket wrapped around her bare shoulders; calling out her name, he snapped the picture the second she turned toward him. Luckily she had been smiling a little so it wasn't all together horrible. She laughed once then got serious.

"I don't think you should bring any pictures with you…"

"I could hide them—"

"No. No, I don't want you to bring any pictures. You can send me messages… Just no pictures." He remained silent as she handed it back to him; he stuck it back in his wallet.

"You better be married to some nice, young guy by the time I get back." Coty laughed bitterly but her face remained expressionless.

"Yeah right. Who'd wanna marry me?"

He reached over and cupped her face in his hands. He didn't say anything, but his eyes spoke volumes. He kissed her softly.

"Goodnight," he said simply when they broke apart. She smiled weakly and reached out to shake his hand.

"And good luck."

She opened the car door and walked up to her room, leaving him to sit alone in the car for a few minutes, and then go to his own dorm: their usual routine to conceal their affair.

She reached the top of the steps and the last thing she remembered in her dream was getting fucked by the sun.

* * *

When she awoke a few hours later, she was momentarily disoriented; this definitely wasn't her and Cassie's sleeping quarters. For one thing, Cassie wasn't there and the pictures of her parents weren't tacked to wall next to the bed. She blinked the sleepiness out of her eyes and squinted; she noticed the twenty dollar bill near her face and realized she'd fallen asleep in Capa's room. She could smell him on the pillow beneath her head. She turned to lie on her back and stretched.

The hallway outside Capa's room was still dim. She looked at her watch; fifteen minutes before Icarus would wake the rest of the crew. Suddenly noticing that Capa wasn't in the room with her, she threw the covers off and got up to go search for him. She felt guilty for stealing his bed.

Coty found him in the dining room, sleeping on the booth against the wall. She considered waking him up to tell him he could have his bed back, but thought better of it.

He actually looked like he was enjoying sleep for once. She smiled and observed him for a moment before walking back down the hall to talk to Cassie. She didn't see him flinch violently as she turned her back.

"Hey, Cass?" Coty crawled into her bed and looked over at her crewmate. Cassie was a light sleeper and woke up immediately at hearing her name.

"Coty? Where were you all night?"

"I fell asleep in Capa's room." Cassie's eyes got wide and she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Studying, Cassidy! Christ!" She giggled as Coty flung a pillow at her head.

"Sorry! I couldn't help it. Mace must be rubbing off on me." Coty cringed at the mention of his name.

"Ugh, I hope not; what a pig. I'm so sick of fighting with him all the time. I did dream I had sex with the sun, though." She strategically chose to leave out the main part of her dream. Cassie burst into another fit of giggles and buried her head in the pillow.

"That's disgusting!" Coty managed to laugh too.

"What?! It was a good fuck too." It was Cassie's turn to chuck the pillow at Coty.

"We've _gotta_ get you laid when we get home."

* * *

Coty was in the mood to cook again, so she relieved Corazon of breakfast duty; she thanked her profusely and scurried away to spend more time with her plants. She busied herself with preparing pancakes and bacon as Capa woke up from his sleep.

"Morning, sunshine," she cooed playfully at him. He rubbed his eyes, stretched, and looked around. He smiled when he saw her standing behind the counter, mixing batter.

"Hello," he yawned. There was a crick in his neck and he swiveled his head to get rid of it.

"Sorry to steal your bed last night." Capa blushed as he remembered.

"Oh, it's fine. You looked so peaceful; I didn't have the heart to wake you up." _Shit. That sounded __**way**__ too sentimental. _He looked away in embarrassment. She was glad he didn't notice the slight blush that rose in her cheeks.

"Thanks…" she muttered. "And thanks for putting me to sleep too." Capa wasn't sure if that was a sarcastic dig for all the boring information he poured into her head or a sincere display of gratitude for tucking her in; he optimistically chose the second one.

"You're welcome." He stood and excused himself to go change. He decided to come back and watch her cook and the two talked idly.

* * *

Everyone was fed and content and had retreated to their separate stations throughout the ship. Only Coty and Capa remained in the dining area; he'd helped her clean the dishes and now the two were talking at the table.

Capa realized bashfully that Coty brought life to the hunk of junk they called home. She liked to joke and she never cared about the volume of her voice; sometimes he'd wake up in the middle of a particularly sleepless night and hear her whispering loudly, animatedly to Cassie. She flitted around the ship, encouraging everyone to "Smile, the sun doesn't want you to rain on its dying parade!" Even though they were on a mission to reignite the sun, Capa thought that all the sunshine he'd ever need resided in the next dorm room over.

Mace walked through the kitchen and sneered at the couple. He tried to think of a smart comment to make as he passed them but all he could manage was a lame "Get a room," so he only muttered it under his breath. Despite the low tone of his voice, Coty heard him.

"Only if you come watch!" she called, leaning over, her head bent forward to look after him as he walked out the doorway. Capa snorted nervously and shielded his blushing face. Mace reeled back, bounded through the door again. He scoffed and put his hands on his hips.

"Switch out Brainiac here for Cassie and I just might join you." His smile was wicked and devious.

"You'd like that wouldn't you, you sick, perverted motherfucker? You make me wanna puke."

"Oh yeah? Well, it looks like you already do enough of that, sweetcheeks," he said, commenting on her rapidly deteriorating frame. She'd gotten thinner and thinner since they got into orbit and it seemed to the crew that they were the only ones acknowledging that fact. Capa shifted awkwardly in his chair as the fight progressed.

"Looks like someone's a little overheated. Why don't you go cool off in those precious cooling tanks of yours, eh Mace?" Her palms were planted firmly on the surface of the table. Mace had to fold his arms over his chest to refrain from hitting her. "You don't seem to have much else to do!"

"Oh really?! Well my job's a hell of a lot more important than yours. Look at you! You're having a little round of coffee talk with Nancy over here, for fuck's sake; _you_ have nothing better to do!" Coty threw back her head and laughed bitterly.

"If it weren't for me, Flyboy, you wouldn't be getting fed and you'd all be choking on your own skin! How would you like that?!"

They mainly fought about just simple, stupid stuff really. Rarely did they fight about anything of actual importance; the occasional verbal slur about how Coty's job on the ship was pointless or how idiotic Mace was for forgetting to program _Icarus_ to perform the monthly diagnostic tests. But Capa remained thoroughly convinced that after one of their knock-down, drag-out fights they would simply pounce on each other and go at it; he saw the way Mace would steal glances at Coty's ass when she bent over and he remembered the time when Coty had accidentally walked in on Mace in the shower and talked about it for a whole hour and a half. She claimed she was merely infuriated, but Capa could guess the real reason she dragged out the conversation. Then again, he could've just been paranoid.

"Oh yeah, princess? Well guess what. The solar system doesn't revolve entirely around you!" Mace yelled. Capa didn't know how their brawl had led to that insult but, then again, most of Coty and Mace's fights ended with very different taunts than they began with.

"_Excuse me?!_ Look who's talking now! The very man who believes that the sun shines out of his fucking ass! Maybe we oughta shove that that bomb up there instead!" Coty quenched the intense desire to run to the pantry and throw an egg at his face. Mace scoffed and threw his hand in the air, stalking away angrily. Coty closed her eyes and took a deep breath; turned back to her conversation.

"So… about those case studies…," she said calmly before smiling over at Capa. How she could compose herself so quickly was beyond even Capa's intelligence level.

* * *

Capa was surprised at his own boldness when he suggested they bring their conversation out of the open dining area and into his room; they couldn't go in Coty's because Cassie decided to take an uncharacteristic, but well-deserved nap. He also suggested they go over some more equations and he could help her study, but she said she'd just rather talk. Not study, but _talk_.

Coty and Capa had always been somewhat friends, immediately attaching themselves to each other at the first day of training. They were the outsiders – Capa more so than Coty, considering the fact that she'd been a part of the original _Icarus_ mission and did know a little more about what they were getting themselves into – because they were the scientists, not the astronauts.

They talked about anything and everything; family, books, movies, music. Capa told her some lame jokes he'd heard in college; the one about the giraffe in a bar made Coty snort and cover her mouth quickly. He didn't even think it was funny, but now every time he thought of a giraffe, he'd think of her. He got suddenly nervous when she declared she was warm and unzipped her blue jacket; underneath, she was wearing a plain white tank top and he caught a quick glimpse of a black bra strap begin to slide down her narrow shoulder before she righted it.

"Maybe I'll go check on the payload," he said quietly, starting to stand. She snatched his wrist and he got goosebumps.

"I don't think it's going anywhere, Democritus." She pulled him back down onto the bed. He smiled in surprise.

"I didn't know you knew who he was."

"Hey, just because I got a pretty face, doesn't mean I'm dumb." Capa looked self- consciously down at his lap.

"I never said you were dumb…" Coty hit his arm playfully.

"I know. Ask me who Democritus is. I want to impress you." She smiled boldly at him. He laughed and consented. She sat up straight and folded her hands in her lap; her "best pupil" stance.

"Democritus was one of the founders of atomism. In natural philosophy, atomism is the theory that all objects in the universe are composed of very small, indestructible building blocks – also known as atoms." She finished with an exaggerated smile and Capa clapped lightly for her.

"Very good." She pretended to bow.

"Thank you, thank you. I'll be here for the next two years." They laughed but in the backs of both their minds, they were reminded of the potential mortality of their mission. Coty sighed and slumped against the wall.

"Besides, you're down there all the time anyway…" she said, returning to their former conversation. He looked at her and she smiled mysteriously.

"Yeah… I guess you're right."

"Of course I'm right." She paused. "Hey, Capa?" she asked simply, still leaning back against the wall.

"Mmm?"

"Why are you so shy?" He was caught off guard for a moment; he definitely wasn't expecting that question. He glanced at her curious face.

"Umm… I don't know. I guess it's because most of the crew doesn't like me." Coty sat up straight and frowned.

"That's not true!" she exclaimed. Capa shrugged.

"Well… kinda." He offered her a weak smile. She wondered how he could possibly feel that way. Well, OK, Mace totally justified that opinion, but still.

"Well I like you," she stated decidedly, nodding in earnest. She sounded like a second grader. "And that's all that matters." _If only she knew how true that statement was._ Capa smiled; he let himself think that she meant it the way he wanted her to mean it, but he knew that was impossible. How could someone as amazing as Coty like a dork like him?

"Thanks."

"Anytime, kiddo." She winked and his breath caught in his chest. Closing her eyes and leaning back against the wall again, she sighed. Capa observed her silently.

She really was beautiful, he decided. But she looked sad somehow, and he couldn't really explain it, even to himself. The corners of her lips were turned down a little more than usual and her forehead was lightly creased with what he could only assume was worry. After a moment's hesitation, he placed his hand in hers. A smile crept up on Coty's face but she didn't open her eyes; squeezing his hand tightly, she rubbed her thumb back and forth along his skin. Capa glanced at their intertwined fingers and smiled then closed his eyes too. They stayed like that for several minutes, neither of them saying anything; both of them taking comfort in the most physical contact either had experienced in fourteen months.

"Do you think it'll happen again this time?" Coty asked suddenly, opening her eyes. "Do you think the space program just failed to inform us we're on a suicide mission?" Capa opened his own eyes; stirred a little but maintained his grip on her. He sighed.

"I don't know," he replied, his voice barely audible. "I hope not." He could have sworn he saw tears form in her eyes as Coty shifted a little closer to him. When she spoke, her voice was soft and low.

"I hope not too."

* * *

**A/N: **A virtual hug to anyone who can spot the (fairly obvious) _28 Days Later_ reference in this chapter. :)

Abigail Black: Thanks so much for the kind words on Coty! I'm the same way with OCs, but I'm really liking Coty so far and I'm trying my best to make her as believable as possible. And don't worry, I love Mace too. There's some interaction between Coty and Mace in a future chapter that I particularly like, albeit it may be a little odd. But hopefully you'll enjoy it, too. Keep your reviews coming; I love hearing from you! :)  
PrincessDudette: Thank you! I thought chapter two was pretty sexy as well. ;)


	4. Throwing Punches

The following weeks were uneventful.

Their oxygen levels increased. Coty distributed more rounds of vitamins at dinner. Searle got tanner. Trey came out of his shell and talked more. Cassie finished rereading two of the books she'd brought.

Coty lost more weight. Mace started to become internally concerned for some reason unbeknownst to even himself, but he never mentioned it. Instead, he looked for more ways to start an argument with her.

Capa and Coty spent more and more of their time together, which caused certain members of the crew to gossip privately and wonder just how close the two were becoming.

And _Icarus_ kept trudging toward the sun.

* * *

They each had their own showering station; for both sanitation and privacy purposes. Coty's was at the far end of the large, high school locker room-style bathroom, to the left. She turned on the water, adjusted the temperature, and removed her clothes, placing them in the waterproof container next to the outside of her shower.

She had helped design the showers and sinks. While _Icarus I_ was still presumed to be in orbit, they'd developed new technology that would enable astronauts to actually bathe in space; no more of the pathetic sanitary cloth wipe downs. They could finally clean themselves properly. Coty couldn't imagine how her former crew had dealt with their fake bathing habits.

Each stall had walls that came up to Coty's shoulders and a door leading into it. They were each a fair size, with small benches connected to one of the walls and shelves for their supplies. The tile covering them was a pale blue color that was supposed to be soothing.

Coty let the hot water run over her naked body as she closed her eyes. She couldn't look at herself anymore; she'd gotten far too thin since the mission began and she was disgusted by her fragile frame. She didn't think she was very attractive anymore either. Her clavicle stuck out much farther than it used to, her hip bones threatened to poke through her skin, her shoulders had become bony and pointy. If you looked at her back, you could see almost every bone in her spinal cord. But she never let anyone know how upset she'd become by her appearance; she wouldn't even let on that she was aware she'd gotten skinnier. She ran her hand over her sunken stomach and reached for her shampoo.

She hated the smell of their shampoo. It was too generic and sterile smelling. She missed her own; she missed smelling like lavender and vanilla. She felt like she'd never smell that way again.

She washed the suds out of her hair, running her fingers through it. Wringing out the excess water, she realized a large clump of hair was clinging to her fingers. Her hands began to shake and she closed her eyes. She let the water carry the many strands down the drain and she sighed.

By the time she was ready to wash her body she'd become dizzy and faint. She placed a hand against the wall to steady herself, but the feeling of nausea quickly overcame her. She fell on her hands and knees and began to retch violently. The water continued to run as she lay helpless on the floor of the shower. Suddenly, someone appeared at her side; Searle. She didn't care about the fact that she was naked and he could see her; she was just glad she didn't have to be alone. He held her wet hair and rubbed her slippery back comfortingly. Once she was finished, he laid her against his chest; she kept her eyes closed.

"Searle. You'll get wet…"

"It doesn't matter. Is this the first time today?"

"Yes. The first time in a week, actually."

"Well, that's an improvement."

"My hair's still falling out." She began to shake again. Searle tightened his grip around her; he could feel her ribs beneath his fingers. She put her head back on his shoulder. "Did you get those test results back?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"Nothing turned up." She sighed and began to cry.

"What's wrong with me, Searle?" she whispered desperately. He closed his eyes tightly and leaned his cheek against the top of her wet head.

"I wish I knew, sweetheart. I wish I knew…" They sat in silence for a few minutes longer.

"Can you stand?" he finally asked her.

"I think so."

"Do you need me to—"

"No; I think I can do it. You can go. And don't ask me if I'm sure; I am."

He asked her if she wanted to join him in the Observation deck, but she politely declined. Searle left reluctantly to change his clothes and Coty finished her shower. She realized she forgot a change of clothes so she redressed in the ones she had put in the bin after drying off and running a brush through her hair. She parted it to the side, twisted the large chunks inwards, and tied it in a tight bun at the nape of her neck. She went to her room to lie down for a few minutes before dinner; she ended up falling asleep for twenty minutes.

* * *

When she entered the kitchen, everyone was already gathered inside; Kaneda, Corazon, Cassie, and Capa were all seated at the dining table. Searle was near the table, taking a quick break from talking animatedly with his hands. Trey was manning the stove where a large wok sizzled contentedly, noodles inside; Mace was standing near him, drying his hands on a towel. Harvey had his back to her, doing something indeterminable. They all turned to look at her and she smiled sheepishly; she silently made her way over to sit further down on Cassie's bench, scooting close to Capa. Searle began talking again, but not before looking at Coty warily.

"Did you enjoy your second nap of the day?" Capa asked her quietly so no one would hear. All she seemed to do lately was sleep; she'd taken a two and a half hour nap earlier that day. He lifted his chopsticks to his mouth and took another bite of noodles; his eyes were warm and expectant.

"You saw me? Why didn't you wake me up? I didn't mean to fall asleep," she whispered urgently, feeling slightly embarrassed. Capa smiled in an attempt to sooth her.

"Relax, Coty. It's OK."

"It's invigorating," Searle continued. "It's like… taking a shower in light. You lose yourself in it." He tried to explain to the rest of the crew what he'd already told Coty. Corazon placed a pitcher of water and cups on the table. "Coty, you know what I mean," he said suddenly, pointing a finger in her direction. The inhabitants of the table looked at her and she smiled and nodded politely; she chose not to mention the fact that she had yet to take a "sunbath," that Searle had only suggested one.

"Like a flotation tank," Corazon said; it wasn't so much a question as an assumption. Searle paused and stopped unstacking the cups momentarily.

"Not exactly." He tried to explain, but couldn't quite put his thoughts into words. He kept repeating "It's like…" over and over, the proper words escaping him. Realizing Coty didn't have food, he leapt up and muttered something to Trey, who quickly plated some stir-fry for her. It looked like he was giving her extra, but Coty remained silent. She probably should try to eat something more substantial than a salad; with a grateful smile when Searle set it down before her, she knew she would probably be seeing this dinner again later that night in not-as-appealing form.

"Trey, you stole my noodle idea," she joked before bringing up her sticks to blow on the hot food. She'd made noodles again the most recent time she cooked. She heard him chuckle.

"What can I say? You inspired me."

"What is that - beef?" Mace asked from behind Coty; she cringed at the thought of the umpteenth round of venomous words they'd exchanged earlier. They'd been fighting more and more lately and she hated it; she discovered that it actually physically wore her out. Capa glanced at her as if reading her mind.

"Chicken," she heard Trey reply. "If you don't like it, you take my shift next time." _Way to go, Trey._

"For psych tests on deep space," Searle continued. Coty observed that he was mainly talking to Capa. "I ran a number of sensory deprivation trials tested in _total_ darkness on flotation tanks and the point about darkness is…" He removed his jacket; Coty smiled at the way his face lit up when he talked about something he loved. She exchanged amused glances with Cassie. "You float in it. You and the darkness are distinct from each other because darkness is an absence of something. It's a vacuum." He emphasized his point with his hands. "But total light envelopes you." Kaneda and Corazon were looking at him with passive interest. Coty focused on her food, but couldn't help the smile that had crept back onto her face; she kicked Capa under the table and he tried his best not to laugh. "It becomes you." His voice didn't hide his awe. There was an awkward silence that settled over the crew after his little speech; Coty noted that Searle blushed only slightly and his confidence faltered a little.

"It's very strange. I don't, um— I recommend it." He chuckled nervously, beginning to pick at his food. Mace made his way behind Cassie to sit down next to Kaneda.

"What's strange, Searle," he began. Coty rolled her eyes and shot him a look he didn't see; why did he always have to go and ruin everything? Everyone was in a good mood and he just had to destroy it. "Is that you're the psych officer on this ship and I'm clearly a lot saner than you are." Luckily, Searle only chuckled in response, but that didn't keep Coty from speaking her mind.

"Well I think that's very cool, Searle," she said. Her tone was not unlike a mother's when she approved an unorthodox decision made by her young child. "I think that we should _all_ give your little sunbath a try. Who knows? It might boost morale…" She smiled sweetly and glared honey-coated daggers at Mace; he feigned a toothy grin in response. It was Cassie's turn to kick Coty under the table.

"Mmm, good," Corazon commented contentedly. There was a moment of silence before Mace spoke up again.

"All right, if no one is gonna say it, I'm going to." Coty looked up at Mace; a knowing glance free from hatred or malice. He didn't look at her.

"The solar wind reading is much higher than we'd anticipated at this distance," continued Kaneda for him. He looked around the table at his crew. Coty looked away guiltily and remembered her conversation with Harvey a few weeks ago.

"For the moment, we can still send package messages back," Harvey said from his seated position to Coty's left. "High-frequency verse will rise above the interference, and the moon stations will be able to pick them up." He paused, looked down at his food. "But it's possible that within twenty-four hours we won't be able to communicate at all." Everyone avoided each other's glances. Coty coughed uncomfortably.

"Possible?" Kaneda questioned. Harvey looked at him before he replied.

"Probable."

Capa's head snapped in Harvey's direction; the look he directed at Coty begged her to look back at him, but she couldn't. She put a hand on Harvey's knee under the table; he placed his own on top of hers and squeezed.

"We'll finally be on our own," Cassie muttered quietly. It was a poor attempt at lightening the mood.

"We're fifty-five million miles from Earth. I'd say we're already on our own," Mace replied. Cassie stared at him silently.

"Come on, guys. We were expecting this," Kaneda broke in. "No great drama. We're flying into the dead zone seven days sooner than we thought. But if any of you are planning on sending a final message home… you should do it now." He quickly stood from the table and left the room. The others sat in silence and kept eating. Harvey looked around at the others, his eyes apologizing for something that wasn't his fault. Coty sighed; she hated awkward silences.

"So," she spoke up cheerfully. "How was everyone's day?" She smiled gloriously at the others. Mace glared at her and Searle chuckled softly. Capa silently decided that she was the most spectacular girl he'd ever met.

* * *

She sat in the comms room later that night with Trey, Harvey, and, much to her chagrin, Mace. Capa was in the video booth sending his final message home. She was glad she'd decided to send her last package home when she did; pleased with the goodbye message she'd given. If she had waited until then, she would have thought about it for too long and would have gotten too depressed and upset. She wondered what Capa was saying as she watched the aqueous green lights dance across the frosted door. She'd only gone to keep him company while he waited to send his message, but Harvey told him to go first; so there she was, waiting for him to come out so they could retreat back to his room.

She'd taken to singing "Here Comes the Sun" as a sort of sarcastic joke. Giving in to her boredom, she started crooning the tune softly, shamelessly. It annoyed Mace to no end, but she stopped caring what he thought long ago. He sighed in frustration and looked over his shoulder. Harvey swiveled in his chair to glance down at her; she was sitting on the floor near Trey. He smiled and covered his mouth with his hand, turning back to his station. Trey patted her head absentmindedly, and smiled as well. She grinned mischievously and kept singing. Her main purpose wasn't to bother Mace, she only sang to brighten her mood; the fact that he couldn't stand it was just an added bonus.

* * *

Capa was taking longer than any of them had anticipated. Harvey had lifted the time constraints on how long their messages could be. Mace was starting to get restless and began pacing back and forth outside the booth; Trey and Harvey had left the room. Mace was muttering things to himself; Coty thought she caught the words "fuckin' idiot geek," but she couldn't be sure. She decided to take some action; she stood and walked up to the door. She rapped her knuckles on it softly.

"Capa, sweetheart? Are you finished in there? Trey and Mace still want to—"  
"Come on, you fucker; get out of there!" Mace interrupted her, violently pounding on the door with his fist, forcing Coty to leap back in surprise. "You're not the only person on this ship!"

"Mace, would you calm down?" Coty sighed angrily. "That's not the way to handle the situ—"

"Oh, would you just shut up! Stop trying to defend your little boyfriend," he spat venomously at her.

"Oh, for crying out loud, Mace!" she began angrily. Just then Capa opened the door and they looked at him. A soft beeping emitted from Harvey's station; three heads looked in the direction of the noise and Coty stepped forward to read a flashing message that had appeared on the screen. She sighed at looked down at her feet.

"'Wind velocity currently exceeding secure speeds; no longer able to send processed video packages,'" she quoted meekly.

"I'm sorry; I didn't realize I was taking so long…" Capa explained helplessly. Before either of them knew what was happening, Mace had lunged at Capa, trapping him in a headlock.

"Oh my god!" Coty exclaimed instinctively. Mace pulled Capa out of the booth and dragged him across the small room, bashing his head into the wall. "Mace! For Christ's sake, stop it!"

They grunted and groaned; Mace tried to punch Capa's face with his free hand, but Coty grabbed it just in time. He pushed her down and she fell on her backside. Quickly standing back up, she started toward them again.

Mace swung a punch, aimed for Capa's jaw; missed. Instead, his clenched fist collided with Coty who was trying desperately to tear the two men apart. It caught her cheek bone and she flew to the ground. She didn't even make a noise; only the metallic sound of flesh and bone hitting the floor could be heard, the grotesque cracking of her jaw. Trey and Harvey burst through the door at that moment.

"Mace! Mace!" they both exclaimed. Mace had let Capa go, but was attempting to charge at him again. Luckily, they held him back. Coty still lay on the floor, a momentary blackness clouding her vision.

"What the hell are you doing?" Harvey yelled as Mace continued to kick and scream obscenities at Capa.

"Fuck!"

"Relax. Put it down." Coty didn't know what the "it" Harvey was referring to, but then again Mace could've picked up a weapon to use against Capa that she didn't notice.

"You son of a bitch!" Mace yelled. "I'll fuckin'— Fucker took an hour in there!" Capa sat back in the chair and pushed his hair out of his face. He suddenly noticed Coty on the floor near him and he bolted up to help her.

"Shit, are you OK?" His nimble fingers wound around her arms and pulled her upright. She was breathing heavily. There was a cut across her cheek and her lip was bleeding.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," she explained. She felt dizzy and swayed slightly; Capa encircled her waist with his arm, forced her to lean against him. "It's gonna take a lot more than that to get rid of me." She smiled up at him, but he wasn't convinced. Trey and Harvey let go of Mace, but stood between him and the others.

"I can't send my package. The wind is too high!" Mace explained angrily.

"Mace! Calm down," Harvey said rationally. Mace kicked the wall near him.

"I'm sorry, all right?" Capa yelled defensively after depositing Coty in the chair. "Jesus." Coty wiped her mouth on the back of her hand, blood smearing across the skin. She licked the cut absentmindedly.

"Fuck!" Mace exclaimed again. Coty thought she saw a brief look of concern pass across his face when he glanced over her and imagined that he was upset because he'd seen her bleeding face and felt sorry for punching her. But that simply wasn't the case and she knew it.

"I didn't realize I was taking so long," Capa explained, his arms spread wide.

"Capa," muttered Coty quietly; she stood and steadied herself by pushing off from the ledge in front of the chair. She gripped Capa's shoulder once she got to him. "Come on; let's go get this cut of mine cleaned up." He looked down at her, avoiding her eyes and sighing angrily, jutting out his lower jaw. He wrapped his arm around her again.

"Fine. Let's go."

* * *

He brought her to the medical bay and sat her on the cushioned stretcher. Then he went swiftly around the room, finding antiseptic and bandages in silence. She could tell he was still angry and, having become the expert on reading the doctor, guilty. She could tell that he was telling the truth when he said he wasn't aware of how long he was taking in the booth and she knew that the last thing he wanted was for the entire crew to be against him. She studied him intently, her head cocked to the side, her eyes roaming his face.

"It's OK, Capa," she said softly. He glanced up at her for a second, but didn't respond. He opened the antiseptic bottle and pressed a cotton ball to the mouth of it, tipping it over to allow the liquid to be absorbed.

"Robert." She touched his hand, stopping him mid-action. She never called him by his first name. He blinked a few times before looking back up at her; she was smiling angelically. "Relax. It's OK." She made sure to emphasize each syllable. He managed a meek smile himself; hers widened when he did. She brought his hand up to her cheek and stroked it with her thumb. In a bold move, he leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

"Let's get you cleaned up."

He gently cleaned both of her cuts with the disinfectant and then proceeded to further examine the cut along her cheek. It was fairly substantial, but not bad enough that it would require stitches. So instead, he carefully brushed on some liquid protectant and placed two small strips across the width of the cut to graph the skin back together. When he was finished, she looked at herself in the mirror, impressed with his handiwork.

"Nice job, Capa." He smiled and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Well, let's hope I never have to do it again. There'll probably be some bruising around your cheek and upper jaw, but I think you'll be good as new in a few days." She turned toward him and smiled.

"Thank you."

"I have some work to do in the Oxygen Room. Why don't you go lie down and rest; I'll come see you later."

"OK. And this time, wake me up if I'm asleep." He chuckled.

"All right."

* * *

**Notes**

Sorry for the lack of update! I've been away on retreat for a few days plus I've just been lazy. But I hope it's been worth the wait for you guys! Thanks for hanging in there! Now, on with the personal addresses!

AbigailBlack: Yay! You got the reference! You get a hug! :) Thanks; I'm trying to make them as realistic and natural as possible so it's good to hear that it's coming off that way. And yeah, the whole Mace/Cassie/Coty/Capa thing should be interesting. It's just going to be a one-shot deal with Mace and Coty so hopefully it won't ruin you're idea of Cassie and Mace and you'll enjoy it. (P.S. - Thank goodness someone else besides me thinks that Mace and Cassie have a little "something-something" going on! :)) You're right; I think I will keep the title as it is. So thanks again! :)  
PrincessDudette: Haha, yes, Mace is a pretty big butthead, but I find him appealing too. He seems like a fun guy to have around. Thanks for the kind words; I'm so glad you're liking this so far! Hopefully I can keep you liking it with future chapters! :)


	5. Mistakes

After about twenty-five minutes of failing to fall asleep in her room, Coty began to get bored. She resented the fact that she always had to be moving. Swinging her legs over the side of her bed, she sat for a moment, debating on where to go.

She couldn't go to Capa's office; he had important work to do again and she didn't want to bother him. She could have gone to her own office to run some tests on the dust she'd collected the previous day, but she didn't feel like working.

With a huff, she stood up. Exiting the room, she simply planned on allowing her feet to take her where they would.

She never liked the bare metallic-ness of the hallways. It reminded her of her unfinished basement back home; air vents exposed, silver tubing and insulation open for all to see. She dug her hands into her pockets as she walked on, watching her feet. Suddenly, she collided with someone. Mace.

"Oh, sorry," he said. He removed his hands from her arms; she didn't know how they got there.

"It's OK. I, uh… wasn't looking where I was going." They stood there looking at one another for a little longer than necessary. Then Mace eyed the slowly healing cut on her cheek and pulled one of his hands out of his pocket and motioned to her face.

"Sorry about, uh… you know, punching you and all." Coty chuckled; that apology was about two weeks too late.

"You didn't mean to." She _really _wanted to walk away, but couldn't; her feet were inexplicably rooted to the floor. Mace looked down at her, expressionless. Then his face broke into an unexpected grin.

"Hey, would you mind, um… Maybe, like, cutting my hair? It's been getting pretty long and Searle told me to do something with it, so… And I know you cut Harvey's hair." It was an odd suggestion, but Coty figured it wouldn't hurt anything.

"Yeah, OK. Sure."

* * *

They made their way to the bathroom in silence. Coty set up a chair for him to sit in and wrapped a towel around his shoulders. She grabbed a pair of scissors and an electric razor.

"How short do you want it?" she asked. She stood in front of him, her eyebrows raised. "The way it was before…?"

"Yeah." She nodded and moved behind him.

Her movements were slow and precise. Deliberate in every sense of the word. She observed him closer than she ever had before. His strong neck, broad shoulders, muscular jaw line. She trimmed long chunks in silence for a long time, until Mace spoke up.

"Coty." He coughed. "I've been meaning to say… sorry for everything I've put you through. You don't, um… you don't deserve—"

"Mace, it's OK. You don't have—"

"Yes. Yes, I do." His eyes were stern and serious; she let him continue, dropping her hands to her side. "I've been unnecessarily rude to you and I'm truly sorry for that." Coty watched his face. "And, the other day, when I hit you, saw the blood… I just…" His blue-gray eyes bored into hers for a long moment. "I'm _so_ sorry, Coty. I really am."

"I'm sorry too, Mace. It's not _all_ your fault." She placed a hand on his shoulder to reassure him. Both of their faces were serious. She removed her hand with a sudden smile, holding it out to him.

"I think it's about time we declared a truce, don't you think?" she suggested cheerfully. Mace grinned slightly, a faint whisper of a smile.

"Yeah. Truce," he agreed, shaking her hand. His hand was warm and callused. They held on to each other longer than either had expected. Coty slowly brought her hand up to his face without thinking.

His cheek was rough with stubble and beard. She ran her fingers along his jawbone from the base of his ear to his chin. Mace closed his eyes and leaned into her. She studied his face.

It was completely different than Capa's, she noted. While Capa's features were almost feminine, Mace's were strictly of the male persuasion. His strong but subdued cheek bones were hidden under his beard, the same for his square jaw. His nose was long and wide, almost Grecian. The eyelashes weren't nearly as long as Capa's.

Before she realized what she was doing, Coty was allowing Mace to kiss her palm. He had it trapped in both of his strong ones and he was slowly but steadily making his way up her arm with his lips. Her brain screamed at her to stop, slap him across the face, but her body was taking too much pleasure in the contact to push him away. She closed her eyes before quickly opening them again. She was surprised at how tiny her arm seemed in his strong grasp; it looked like he could easily snap it at any moment.

She leaned down toward him, dropping the scissors to the floor. He looked at her, scanning her face, noticing things he'd never seen before. She had a scar above her right eyebrow and a dark freckle just below the corner of her lip. With a twinge of guilt, his eyes passed over the cuts he'd given her; the one on her cheek was sure to leave a scar.

Mace let her kiss him then; she opened her mouth to him. He deepened the kiss, gently, his touch uncharacteristically tender. He reached up to place his hands on her waist. She pulled away too soon.

Coty guided his face to her abdomen and he lifted her shirt only slightly to kiss her stomach. She sighed in contentment. He moved his hands up her back, raising her shirt even more. She ran her fingers through his oddly shorn hair and shamelessly hunched over to kiss his head. Out of the silence, she began to breathe heavily.

"Cassie…" he suddenly muttered. The sound of his whisper was muffled against her skin; a low, desperate growl. Coty's eyes snapped open.

"Cassie," he said again, sucking on a patch of skin above her belly button. She swiftly pulled away from him. It was all over within a matter of seconds.

"Alright, well, I think you can finish the rest on your own." Her words were urgent and rapid; her breathing was still labored. She picked up the scissors and placed them on the sink, awkwardly handed him the shaver. He looked at her in astonishment, bewildered by her sudden change in demeanor. _He didn't realize what he'd said_, she thought_._ She couldn't look at him.

"It's short enough now to just shave and then you can do your face. Shouldn't take long. I'll see you later." She quickly started for the door.

"Coty," Mace said, trying to stop her.

"No need to thank me!"

She stopped outside the bathroom and pressed her back up against the wall. She winced when it hurt her protruding spinal cord. She stood there for several minutes, attempting to calm her rapid breathing. She closed her eyes tightly and tried to force the past few moments from her consciousness. What either of them had been thinking, she'd never know. How could she be so impulsive? Why hadn't she thought her actions through? Sighing heavily, she stalked off to find something to do again.

* * *

A half hour later, her nausea got the better of her before she could fight it. She ended up vomiting in the bathroom for nearly fifteen minutes and until all she could manage to choke out was bile; thank God Mace had left. Her stomach empty, she washed out her mouth and exited the room; Searle was there waiting for her.

"What was that; second time today?"

"Third," she replied tersely. He nodded and carefully eyed her.

"Let's run a few more tests, eh? Just to be safe." His tone was gentle, sympathetic. Coty sighed and placed her hands on her hips.

"How much more is 'a few'?"

"It's OK, Coty. I won't stick you with too many needles this time. Come on." He placed his hand on the small of her back but she grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Will you put me out this time?" she asked. Her eyes were full of apprehension and quiet fear. Searle sighed wearily and looked down at the ground.

"Coty—"

"Can Harvey come then?" she begged. He looked at her, saw the desperation in her face. He nodded grimly and they went to retrieve Harvey.

* * *

Searle and Harvey were the only two members of the crew who knew about Coty's mystery illness. The others were aware of her – what they thought was occasional – vomiting and they watched her frame rapidly deteriorate, but they knew nothing else. Coty never even told Cassie the extent of her sickness; and, even if she did know, Cassie had the grace and tact to never breathe a word. Coty didn't know how they did it, but the trio had managed to keep the situation entirely under wraps.

She lay on top of the thin cushioning of the hospital-like bed with Harvey by her side; he held her hand between his own and stroked the back of her thumb comfortingly. She'd always had an unnatural fear of needles that started in her early childhood after an unpleasant incident involving a rusty nail and the ball of her foot. Searle swiped the cool, wet sanitary wipe across the inside of her elbow and she began to shake involuntarily. Harvey moved a hand up to caress her forehead and he smiled down at her.

"Hey, it's OK; I'm right here, nothing's going to happen. Everything will be alright. It's just a little blood test. It's OK." She turned away from the needle she knew was coming and looked into his face; tears began to form puddles in her eyes and she closed them tightly. "I'm right here; I'm not gonna leave you." She felt the odd sensation in her arm; the sucking feeling coming from the tiny hole-like puncture. She breathed deeply, trying to calm herself.

"Hangin' in there, kiddo? Almost finished, I promise," Searle contributed encouragingly. It was pathetic really, the way they needed to treat her like a five-year old; she was inwardly disgusted with herself and fought down the bile that rose in her throat again.

"All right! All done; see? That wasn't so bad," Searle patted her shoulder and placed gauze over the small wound. She looked over and saw the neatly lined vials of dark red blood standing in the tray; five altogether.

"Why so many?" she questioned. "You've never taken that many before." Searle glanced at Harvey. They both looked away quickly.

"Well, you know… Just need to check for a few more things; just to be safe. It's only a precaution." His smile was less than convincing, but Coty chose to ignore that fact. "OK, we gotta run a few more tests and you're outta here!"

"What kind of tests? I'm not finished yet?"

"Not quite, kid. It'll only take a minute; I swear." He winked at her in reassurance. _God, he reminded her of Daniel. _Harvey absentmindedly started stroking her hair again and she sighed in resignation.

* * *

More needles; much to Coty's chagrin. Searle performed the three-pronged needle tuberculosis test, stuck her forefinger with a lancet, placed an IV in her hand, and gave her half-inch shallow cuts along her lower arm. He tried to explain to her the purpose for each test, but she quickly tuned out in favor of focusing on a spot just above Harvey's shoulder. She began to feel dizzy at the loss of blood and her eyes started to droop. Harvey became concerned that something was wrong and attempted to jostle her; Searle calmed him.

"It's alright, Harvey. Let her go." That was the last thing she heard before she let the passive waters of sleep wash over her.

* * *

"Coty? Coty, are you all right?" Gentler, softer whispering shook her awake. She snapped her eyes open.

She was no longer in Medical; she had been moved to a bed in the crew sleeping quarters. She vaguely remembered Mace carrying her unconscious, limp body through the hallways and placing her gently on the bed; but why had Mace been the one carrying her? That must have meant that they told him… She wouldn't think about that now. She assumed it was her own room.

"Coty, are you OK? You're burning up," Capa asked. He was sitting beside her on the small bed, a look of intense concern on his face as he held a hand to her forehead. She realized she was breathing heavily and that she did, indeed, have a high fever; she was sweating too. Slowing her breaths, she flashed him a pretty smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry; Searle got a hold of me."

"It's fine," he said absently. "Do you want anything? Water, some food? I can go get a towel for your head if you—"

"Hey, hey; settle down there, will ya Payload? I'm fine." He looked at her skeptically for a moment; she rolled her eyes and reassured him again; propped herself up on her elbows and ignored the flashing, bright shapes behind her eyes. With a grunt, she began to lift herself out of bed. Capa placed a hand on her shoulder and tried to push her back down.

"Searle told me not to let you—"

"Searle-schmerle. I'm getting unbearably sick of this room, Robert; I need to get out of it," she snapped. He looked at her angrily and she giggled, attempting to soften the mood. "Whoa there, Capa; I've never seen you look more angry before in my life. Rein it in a little." He rolled his eyes and went back to staring at her, pursing his lips. "Come on! Would you please – for once – relax? I'm fine: no broken bones, no projectile vomiting; just a little dizzy, that's all." He cringed when she said vomit.

"You're gross." He stood to help her up. She shrugged him off with the grace of a ballerina.

"Oh yeah? Well, you're too intelligent for your own good. So there."

* * *

Searching for something to do – again, she settled on cleaning the food locker. Capa had tried to talk her out of it; she had a fever, it was late, she needed rest. The intensity with which she denied him was alarming and he let her go in spite of his better judgment. He himself needed sleep; he left her without another word and stalked angrily off, trying to suppress his feelings of boiling frustration and sudden irritation. She, in turn, was happy to see that he was broadening his emotional horizon for once and stuck her tongue out at him behind his back.

She slipped on the thick jacket she wore for this task; designed to conform to her body in order to provide extra warmth, it now hung from her shoulders like an outgrown skin. Sighing, she removed the coat again and pulled on a firm-cushioned thermal vest and adjusted the straps around her waist to fit snugly; she put the heavy jacket on over top and placed the gloves on her hands. Armed with a pick and a stepping stool, she entered the frozen tundra that was not dissimilar to the one they'd left behind on Earth.

The walls were a dull, metallic silver and would have glinted in light if it weren't for the coating of ice that covered them and the lack of a substantial light source. Tall steel shelves filled with meat, packaged vegetables, bread, and other edible items pressed in on her as she walked to the back of the freezer. Her icy breath fanned out before her like a cloud and she positioned the stool in front of a large white chunk of ice that had formed in the upper corner of the room; stepping up quickly, she raised her arms over her head and began hacking away at it. Shavings flew into her hair and melted rapidly like snowflakes falling into an open flame.

* * *

Within thirty minutes, she'd become warm. She shed her coat, mentally picturing an irate Searle yelling at her for her stupid behavior. Her bare arms were covered in goosebumps, but she ignored them; as long as she kept the vest on, her core would be heated and that was all that mattered. A translucent sheen of sweat coated her forehead and she momentarily stopped her cutting away at a new piece of ice to drag an arm across her head. She breathed out and removed a glove to push back her hair. That was one of the last things she remembered.

She felt a little dizzy, but ignored it like always. Begrudgingly resigning herself to listening to Capa's advice, she resolved to finish her task tomorrow. That's when the third large hunk of frost she'd been hacking away at decided to detach itself from the ceiling; it silently fell through the air and landed with a _crack_ on top of her head.

She staggered backward stupidly, dropped the sharp pick that was in her hand to the floor. Before she could even bring a hand up to her head, she felt the warm, sticky blood begin to seep down her scalp and neck. She tried to blink, force herself to stay awake; but the liquid trickling down the back of her neck was so warm in comparison to the cold around her she almost welcomed it. She spun wildly and fell to the floor, face downward, knocking into the heavy door and snapping it closed. When she landed, she felt a sharp pain pierce the socket of her shoulder and she screamed out in pain.

And the one person who knew where she was was asleep in his own bed.

* * *

**Notes**

A/N: This chapter had me particularly worried; a lot of things happen and I was concerned that it would be a sensory overload for you guys. That's why it took so long to post. I was debating on whether or not to space it out, edit it, or simply get rid of a few things altogether. But, in the end, I decided to leave it the way it was: the story dictates itself and I figured (hoped?) you -- my lovely readers -- would be able to handle it. After all, you're tough kids. ;) So, please, let me know exactly what you think: good, bad, likes, dislikes; everything! I want to know what I can improve upon in the future.  
Also, this is pretty much the last chapter I have pre-written, so it's going to take longer between updates now for me to write all of my material and "get inspired." I really hope you all will stick with me and wait it out. Trust me, there are many more twists and turns in the future for Coty and the crew!

**AbigailBlack**: Your reviews always make me smile! I adore how you really analyze the story for me; it really helps when you pinpoint things that you like so it's easier for me to stay consistent in writing future chapters. And yes, including ALL of the characters is one of my main focal points so I'm glad to see that it's paying off. The way you describe Mace is exactly how I always thought he was - and exactly how I want to portray him. Let me know what you think about my Coty/Mace. That part was all for you! :)  
**PrincessDudette**: Yes! Capa and his chivalry is just fantastic, eh? I think that's just how Capa would be; his mama raised him right! :) And we'll just have to wait and see with Coty, won't we? Hope you enjoyed this chap!  
**Arathi.x**: Hooray, a new reviewer/reader! Thanks so much for taking an interest in my little story! I hope I can keep you around and I hope this wacky chap didn't scare you off! :)


	6. Chip on Your Shoulder

"Shit!"

Capa woke with a start and drew in a gasping breath. He shot up in his bunk, a cold sweat pervading his body. Breathing heavily, he ran a hand over his sweaty face and closed his eyes tightly.

He wasn't aware of what had caused him to jump out of his seemingly restful sleep; he couldn't remember having just had _the_ dream again, but, he could have been mistaken. He only remembered hearing a shrill scream fill his head moments before he darted awake.

Blinking hard, Capa threw his blankets off and bit his tongue between his lips. He rubbed his forehead several times, getting the feeling that he was forgetting something that was acutely important; he heaved a large sigh and clicked his tongue against the back of his upper teeth.

He needed to do something, to be somewhere, he knew it; he just couldn't seem to think of what or where. Something had happened… He'd done something wrong and needed to right it.

His head snapped up like it was on a spring. A wave of realization washed over him and his body became cold instantaneously; he convulsed as a shiver ran down his spine.

Standing up, he rubbed his eyes once more and walked out of the open door of his quarters.

How could he be so rude and insensitive towards Coty? She clearly hadn't been feeling well and needed some time to herself; plus, she'd always been impatient and had never been one to just sit around not doing anything. Naturally she would want to get off her ass and do something to help get her mind off not feeling well, screw what Searle had demanded.

Capa looked up and down the hallway; it was quiet, still. Like it usually was. He wasn't sure what time it was and he wasn't motivated enough to go back into his room to look at his watch. Who really knew what time it was anyway? Capa'd always wondered why anyone would want to calculate something as trivial as time.

He stepped toward Cassie and Coty's room, peeked his head around the corner to see if either were in there. He saw Cassie in her bed but no Coty. He looked around the hall again, across the way to Cory's room; he could just make out her slim, sleeping form through the frosted glass. His curiosity spiked, he went back into his room and grabbed his watch.

12:34 AM.

A little pang inside Capa's gut told him something wasn't quite right; he ignored the feeling and sat back on his bed. After a moment's contemplation, he stood back up, walked out of his room, and checked the other rooms; everyone was asleep except Searle, who was missing from his room.

* * *

Capa walked straight to the Observation deck, using long, quick strides. His breathing had become rapid again; he didn't know why exactly.

Searle was sitting on the small couch staring out at the fiery sun, per usual. He didn't even flinch when Capa burst in the room.

"Searle," he addressed him harshly. He took a breath before continuing, to calm his nerves; he became his introverted self again. "Sorry, but um… have you seen Coty?"

Searle turned to face him. "No," he replied, turned to face the window again. "Mace put her to bed a few hours ago."

"I know," Capa said, practically cutting his fellow doctor off mid-sentence. Searle turned back in surprise. "But she got back up after that; have you seen her since th—…"

Capa stopped suddenly; his eyes grew large. Searle looked at him quizzically, expecting him to continue.

"Robert?" he questioned, standing. "What's wrong?" His body tensed when the younger man didn't answer him; he continued to stare ahead, his mouth frozen. "Capa. What is it? Where is Coty?"

"She said she was going to clean the food locker…"

"All right, well; then that's where she is," Searle replied, visibly more at ease, though one could tell he wasn't quite happy with her decision by the way he furrowed his brows. He started to turn back towards the window.

"She said that an hour and a half ago," Capa snapped. Searle faced him again. The men exchanged worried glances; after an instant, they bolted from the room, practically tripping over their feet to get out the door.

* * *

"Icarus!" Searle shouted to the air. "Icarus, get everyone out of bed; do whatever you have to: activate the alarm system."

_Yes, Dr. Searle. What should I tell them the emergency is?_

"Coty," Capa interrupted; the doctors were sprinting toward the galley. "Tell them to search the entire ship; check everywhere!"

_Yes, Capa._

The hallways became engulfed in red flashing lights, a loud, resonating buzz filling the once quiet emptiness. They could already hear the others sprinting from their beds; Icarus' voice echoed through the corridors, relaying the emergency information.

They whipped around corners, narrowly missing equipment and tables. Capa reached the door first and his heart sank: it was shut, locked.

Screaming her name and pounding on the door, neither of them could see any trace of her through the small glass window. She didn't respond.

Searle frantically jiggled the handle: no luck. The door was locked from the inside too, and the latch must have been thrown. They silently cursed the designers of the ship for making a freezer with locks on both sides of the door. Cursing his slow thinking, Capa finally realized to ask Icarus for a little more constructive help.

"Icarus; requesting immediate location data for Sergeant Vasser. Repeat: immediate location data for Sergeant Vasser."

_Sergeant Vasser's current location: galley freezer._

"Condition?" Searle questioned frantically as he looked around, helpless.

_Current condition: unconscious. Vitals show significant blood loss and a severe drop in heart rate._

Capa started to panic again. Searle, on the other hand, regained control and when he spoke his voice was calm.

"All right. We gotta get this door open as quickly as possible. Capa, get me the emergency lock break in the—"

"On it."

Capa rushed to the other side of the kitchen, located the small box against the wall, and jammed his elbow through the glass. He grabbed the small silver master break. Dashing back over to the galley, he attached the box to the door as Searle stepped back, let him punch in the code. There was a loud popping noise and a metallic clang. Then Searle and Capa feverishly clawed at the door and swung it open. Searle asked Icarus to put him in contact with Harvey; told him to ready the medical bay immediately.

The latch had caught the handle of the pick in her shoulder when it detached from the door and snapped it off; now there was just a jagged piece of metal barely protruding through the rough hole in her skin. Her face and arms were the slightest shade of blue and the sweat on her forehead had crystallized into ice; her pale lips set in a thin line. Her shirt stuck to the large pool of blood that had formed beneath her and her hair was frozen and matted together. A large gash cut across her head but was now frozen over. As quickly as they could without causing any further damage to her arm, Capa and Searle carried her off to Medical.

* * *

They quickly heaved her up on the cot; Harvey's eyes roamed over her in disgusted astonishment briefly before quickening his pace in gathering the needed supplies. Blood covered her chest and portions of her face, frozen trickles running down her arm. Her hand hung limply over the side of the foam.

_"Searle: check in. Have you found Coty?"_ Mace's voice came to them over the comm system; he was panting.

"Searle checking in; we have located Coty. Currently treating her in Medical"— after a moment's hesitation— "Doesn't look good, Mace."

_"Christ. Should we—"_

"No; she wouldn't want any of you to see her like this. You know how she is."

"_Yeah. Yeah, OK. If you're sure. Let us know if anything changes."_

"Will do."

Capa stood helplessly near the door, eyes blankly fixed on her face; Harvey and Searle rushed around the room, going through cabinets, locating bottles of pain killers, stitching equipment, strips of bandages, forceps.

_She was so still._

"I need blankets, thermals, hot water, heat packets, anything that will provide her with some warmth!" Searle suddenly yelled. Capa forced his eyes away from her and numbly went to fetch the things he asked for.

When he returned, Searle was bent over her shoulder with the pair of forceps. Capa swiftly wrapped the blanket around her – as best he could with Searle in the way, broke heat packets in half and stuck them anywhere he could find room on and under her body; he noticed Harvey begin to prep a syringe with liquid painkiller. They moved with a frantic calm, Capa the only one seeming unsure of what to do. Searle eyed him.

"Capa, go stand by her. When Harvey sticks her with that needle, there's a great possibility she's gonna wake up and scream; she's petrified of 'em and it'll help her to see a friendly face."

Capa did as he was told and rounded the cot in two long strides; he took her cold hand in his and rubbed it fiercely. His face was devoid of any emotion; he wasn't really sure what to feel.

* * *

The wound in her arm had stopped bleeding out due to the fact that the surface blood had frozen over and created a sort of cork. Searle began to pick away at the ice-covered wound, scraping away chunks to reach the metal object inside. He winced when it refused to budge and splashed some warm water on the wound to melt it; it didn't help much.

"All right; Harvey give her the anesthesia. We need to get this out before it becomes infected. Hold on tight, Capa."

* * *

Memories whizzed past her in her unconscious state.

The last day of warm sunshine she'd ever known; she was seventeen and returning home from her last day of school before summer. She was looking forward to walking down to the beach with her friends. She'd just bought the cutest bikini; white with yellow polka dots. When she woke up the next morning, the ground was covered in ten inches of snow.

The day she received the news that the space station was finally giving up on ever hearing from _Icarus I_ again_._ She'd fallen asleep on her couch; it was late and she was in the state between sleep and awake. Rolling over, she barely opened her eyes; heard the sudden mention of the _Icarus_ mission. She sat up groggily, pushing hair out of her face. Vague details were given, they moved on to the next story. She stared at the screen for a long time, unseeing. Then she went back to sleep.

Daniel's funeral; the view from the farthest seat in the back. She didn't cry. The coffin was empty; she thought it odd how everyone cried for someone whose body wasn't even on Earth.

The first time she met her new crewmates; tripping uncharacteristically over her own feet when she saw the engineer. Shaking hands with the shy, withdrawn physicist and flashing him a bold and encouraging smile; watching his face blush and giggling girlishly at his funny behavior.

The huge and final press conference that was held in their honor. She fixed Capa's tie for him, stood on her toes to tame his unruly mass of hair; it didn't do any good. Cassie hadn't been feeling well and she rubbed her back when she bent over, her head between her knees, claiming she felt nauseous.

She and Searle had taken charge for the rest of the crew; they were the most talkative anyhow and many of the reporters wanted to talk to her because she had been there the first time around.

They stood in a line, arms around each other's shoulders and waists, posing for pictures; laughing and trying to lighten the mood with private jokes whispered in ears. A few well-placed touches or gestures that suggested friendliness where friendliness did not exist for some.

The bright lights from the cameras flashed as she shared a private smile with Capa.

Then everything got black and the memories ceased to exist.

* * *

**Notes**

A/N: Ah, hi! I know, I know; before any of you bite off my fingers for not posting for such an extended period of time, I have a few stories for you! Mind you, I'm not trying to make excuses, but... OK, maybe I am. No matter! Onward with the explanations!

1) I had to significantly change the course of the story; I didn't like it and I wanted more time to play around with until I got to the movie/really interesting parts.  
2) I went on vacation! I left August 2 for Bermuda (that's right! a whole 'nother country, kiddies!) and stayed until the 9th. I swore off use of my cell phone and my laptop in favor of spending some quality time with my family (I got to hang out with my 28 year-old cousin and his best friend; it was _"__so choice"_ another name that movie quote!) and taking in the epic beauty that is Bermuda. Here's some fantastical Bermuda tidbits for ya!  
a) They have houses of all different colors there! I'm talkin' yellow, pink, green, lime green, bright blue, aqua, and purple! Plus they have amazingly cool architecture for their houses, too.  
b) There is no fresh water sources on the island; they get all their drinking/bathing/cooking water from those especially fantastic cumulous nebulous clouds. (Please, feel free to correct my cloud knowledge there; I highly doubt I know what I'm talking about.)  
c) The country was just finishing up their cricket championship the week before we flew in. People had been camping out in tents on random patches of grass; think Harry Potter/Quidditch World Cup, only a little less magic-filled.  
d) Um, there's more, but I'll just stop now.  
3) While on said vacation to Bermuda, I was involved in a little accident. Long story short, the mo-ped bike that my cousin's friend and I were on tipped over; he fell underneath the bike (unharmed, thank God) while I managed to slip off, standing on my left leg. Unfortunately, my right leg swung back and touched the muffler of the bike (a lot less hot than it could have been, another thank God moment) and I received two second degree burns on my calf; one of them is approximately 13 x 4 inches while the other is about 3 x 4. I've been to the doctor, I have a prescription ointment (I hate that word! Let me know if you concur. I rather _do_ like _that_ word), and my mildly maimed leg is healing quickly. I might have a scar, which is sort of cool. All the locals called it a "Bermuda tattoo." :)  
4) I'm just plain lazy and haven't felt like writing. I suck, I KNOW!

OK! There's all of my lame excuses/stories! Hope some of you actually read them.

**AbigailBlack**: Poor Coty indeed! Sometimes I feel really bad about doing mean thing to my characters, but in this case, it had to be done. A million times THANK YOU to the Coty/Mace! I was really hoping you'd like that; and I wholeheartedly agree: life stops for no one - not even Cupid! And yeah, Mace is a much more "I'm macho, I like to act on instinct and bodily desires more than I like to think things through, grr!" kind of guy; Capa definitely needs his "alone time" to think every action through. Hooray for the Cassie hint! It was a success! :)  
**SexySadie88**: Aloha! I know, that last chap _was_ pretty hardcore. But, when you're in _Sunshine_ territory, dramatic and unexpected things are bound to happen! I'm so glad you like the story, and I'll do my best to keep chapters coming for y'all!  
**PlugInBabyx**: I wasn't aware there was a cuss word with only two letters. But, thanks. And you totally don't suck compared to my writing; mine is nothing fantastic, yours is like poetry that blows your mind when you read it. So... shut up. Oh and, for God's sake: POST SOMETHING!!  
**killtheenviousmoon**: We shall see, we shall see... :) Glad you're taking interest.

P.S.- This was a ridiculously, unnecessarily long author's notes. My sincere apologies. Oh, and sorry this chap was so short!  
P.S.S.- I'm posting a pic of what Coty looks like on my author page; check it out!


	7. Permanent Damage

It was Cory's turn to watch her. With some help from Trey, she set her up in the middle of the tomato plants with one of Cassie's books and an apple; politely reminding her that they were her favorite fruit. Cory draped a blanket over her shoulders, careful not to disturb her slinged arm. Standing, she looked down at her; her usual expression vacant, eyes staring straight ahead, unseeing. It was like she didn't even know Cory was there.

She sighed and pulled on gloves, talked to her absentmindedly as she set about her gardening.

* * *

Twenty-five stitches in her head and half a dozen in her arm later, Sergeant Coty Vasser was one damn lucky woman and they all knew it. She'd suffered an ungodly amount of blood loss, a severe puncture wound that barely missed severing a major artery, a cracked skull, and a serious concussion. Not to mention the prolonged time she spent in deep freeze inside that freezer. But, as lucky as she was in some ways, her goose was certainly cooked in others.

In addition to all her bodily injuries, Coty had also endured a different kind of injury. The concussion she received was so brutal that she now experienced long bouts of mental absences and insanities. From time to time, she saw horrific hallucinations of various occurrences in which multiple people she cared about were either being tortured, murdered, or already dead, coming back to haunt her with their gruesome and horrid zombie-like appearances. She would scream and cry and thrash about wildly and would have to be restrained or given a sedative. On a particularly awful occasion, she imagined that the Searle who was visiting her in Medical had been so terribly burned and disfigured that his flesh was peeling off and his face looked like a bloody skull with protruding eyeballs.

She was required to be under constant supervision and was permanently moved to the Medical Bay to sleep so there would be enough room for them all to take shifts at night watching over her. None of them complained or grumbled about their new task and none of them really minded all that much; being researchers, she'd become a new source of observation for them and they each took pride in helping to restore her to health.

Searle said she'd never quite be the same. But each time she came out of her android-like state, she returned to her old, cheery, bubbly self and they all hoped: hoped that maybe she would prove Searle wrong and rise above the mental stupor that had taken hold of her once vivacious mind. No matter how many times she fell back into her catatonic state, the disappointment they all suffered when it happened never lessened.

One thing Searle never told them was that she would never be able to be returned to complete health. He knew that for sure. The blood tests he'd performed before the incident came back bearing grim news; her white blood cells were being inexplicably destroyed by some unknown bacterial assailant and were unable to regenerate themselves. Her immune system was low, her bone structure was breaking down… and there was nothing he could do about it.

* * *

"And you know, you're not looking too bad either," Cory was telling her as she dug a hole for a new tomato seed. "Those circles under your eyes have gone away and you're sleeping through the entire night lately; your hair's getting longer and it's curling up so beautifully." She stopped and smiled up at her, patted the hand that sat limply on the arm of the chair.

Coty blinked hard and sudden; then she turned her head slowly and looked down at Corazon with momentarily blankness; then her mouth softened into a grin, but she didn't show her teeth.

"You heard what I said?" Corazon asked in pleasant surprise. She gripped her hand tightly as Coty nodded gently.

"Of course I did. Thank you, Cory. You look rather nice today too." Coty reached her good hand down to the botanist's face and stroked her cheek. Corazon caught it in her own gloved one and gave it another pat. Then Coty made a move to stand up.

"What are you doing?"

"I want to take a walk. It's boring watching you plant silly seeds all day." The blanket fell loosely from her shoulders back onto the chair.

"Coty, you know you're not supposed to go anywhere without one of us with you; why don't you just sit back down and we'll take a walk as soon as I'm finished?"

"Oh, Cory, stop being such a worry-wart. I'm perfectly sane right now; I'm not having one of my spells. I'll be fine." She was already almost to the steps and Cory stood looking after her in astonishment.

"All right… But be careful. And find one of the others as soon as you can, just in case." She placed her hands on her hips.

"Yes, ma'am!" She saluted her as she continued up the stairs. "Toodle-loo!"

* * *

Coty wasn't lying when she said she felt fine; she'd become completely aware of the fact that she would lose her lucidity from time to time. She'd always been hyper self-aware; this situation was no different: she could tell when she was having one of her "spells" and she knew when she was entirely all right. During the "unfortunate mishaps in her behavior" – as she liked to call them – she could almost see herself from and out-of-body perspective; she could see the movements of her arms, legs, fingers, eyes, head, neck. Every flinch, every shiver, every tremor that would run through her body she monitored like an over-observant doctor.

Her recovery experience had been exhausting for the whole crew. She would never be able to express to them how grateful she was for all those sleepless nights that they stayed up with her through her kicking and screaming and blank expressions and loss of consciousness. Every one of them treated her like their own flesh and blood: like a daughter, sister, wife, niece, cousin. She would be eternally in debt to them and certainly could never truly repay them.

Coty still wasn't sure if her ordeal had brought her closer to God or further away. She'd always been taught to trust in Him; that He would never let something happen that wasn't destined: "everything always happens for a reason," her mother would say. But, why would He let her get so sick, even before the accident happened? Why would He allow the accident to happen? Why had He permitted her to turn into an unstable, practically certifiably insane asylum patient? After all, she was a good person; she'd never committed murder, harmed anyone. She didn't deserve any type of punishment. But, it seemed, that was exactly what she was getting. Nothing made sense any more.

She'd stopped praying – the little praying that she had done, anyway. What was the use anymore? Clearly God – if there was one; she'd begun to doubt even His existence – couldn't hear her pleas or endless questioning.

She'd stopped momentarily in the office she shared with Cory. Her desk had remained mainly untouched since the day of her "incident" a few weeks ago; Cory and Capa had tried to analyze some of the necessary dust samples she had taken, but neither really understood what anything meant, so they figured it could wait. Coty hadn't gotten around to studying them, even in her states of mental capability, because she simply didn't feel like it anymore. Her accident had made her reevaluate her life; she wanted to experience every last moment she had – and she did not want to waste them stuck in some lab.

As she stared blankly at the specimens, she began to think more. She had a feeling that there was something Searle wasn't telling her; the way he was constantly trying to make sure she was comfortable, the way he averted his gaze if she looked at him for a little too long, the way he sneakily piled a little extra food on her plate at every meal. She was grateful for his care but wished he would fill her in on what she knew she was missing. She ran her hand over her desk lightly, then moved soundlessly out of the room to continue down the hall.

She wondered sometimes if she missed who she used to be. She would think for a moment, then realize she hadn't really changed; she just went away for a little while a few times a week.

"Coty?"

She was startled by the sound of another voice. Her head whipped up in surprise and saw Searle standing just outside his office. He offered her a small smile.

"Hello Searle," Coty breathed. "I didn't realize you were standing there."

"Where were you going?" he asked quietly.

"Oh, nowhere."

"Why isn't someone with you?"

"I feel fine, Searle. I'm OK; promise." She smiled in return to his skeptical look.

"Why don't you come inside, I want to talk to you; it'll only take a minute. Promise." He winked, smiled back unconvincingly.

* * *

Seated behind his desk, Searle looked out of place with his smudgy T-shirt, tanned face, and pseudo-relaxed stance; Coty never liked him in his doctor mode. She much more preferred the casual, truly relaxed Searle. He was quiet for a moment, sighed, then began.

"The blood tests I took before your accident finally came back." His voice was low, pseudo-calm; Coty knew him well enough to sense the churning turbulence beneath the well-practiced mask of reassurance. She cut him off before he could go any further.

"I'm dying aren't I, Searle?" Coty's voice was calm, relaxed, accepting. She didn't have to pretend to be serene because she truly was; her sudden response stunned him and he was further dazed when a small smile crept onto her face. He couldn't speak. Her smile widened. "Figures," she chuckled.

"Are you… OK?" he asked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his desk. He studied her face deeply, trying to memorize every tiny detail before it was too late.

"Fine," she responded truthfully; she smiled again, narrowed her eyes. "How much longer do I have?" The way she held his gaze made Searle uncomfortable; he looked down quickly, couldn't quite find the words again.

"Not long." He looked back up at her and they stared at each other for what felt like an eternity.

Well, there it was; the unspoken secret that Coty had suspected all along. She wasn't surprised really: even though she might be losing her mind, she was still aware of how her body felt and it felt tired. Tired of the loss of connection, tired of pretending for every one else's sake, tired of half-heartedly existing. It was almost as though her very bones were crying out for a break, a rest – for death.

"How long is 'not long'?" she asked finally, breaking the silence that had settled between them. Searle hesitated.

"You'll be gone by the time we reach the sun," he said quickly, fearing his voice would betray him if he dragged the words out too long.

Coty's breath caught in her throat and she choked out a bitter laugh. How unfeeling was fate? How ironic and cold? Destiny didn't care that she'd spent most of her adult life training and preparing and working toward that single, solitary moment. Now it was snatched away from her forever and she could almost hear a cruel cackling echoing in the recesses of space. Coty laughed again.

"That sucks," she responded with a nod. Searle couldn't move or even think about returning the grin she offered him; he wasn't prepared for her to react this way and her reaction was scaring him. In retrospect, he wasn't quite sure how he thought she would respond to the news, but certainly not like this. But one thing he had learned about Coty was to never expect anything – because she would most certainly surprise you ninety-nine percent of the time. He almost laughed in spite of himself… almost.

"Do you want to talk about it? News like this cannot be easy to hear…" Coty snorted.

"No, I guess not, huh? But what is there to talk about really? I'm dying and soon enough I'll be dead. I think that's all the conversation we need to have, really." The wink she offered the doctor did little in the way of easing the tension.

"Coty—"

"Well doctor, I best be on my way!" She rose quickly from the chair, making Searle nervous. It took a second before the vertigo set in, making her pause to close her eyes; once it passed, she was striding toward the door. "_I_ will see _you_… later!"

A flash of white teeth and a swish of copper hair was all Searle was left with before his door slid shut and he was alone again. The silence Coty's absence gave him expanded and filled the room like another entity, staring at him coldly, blankly. He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, rubbing them slowly. The silence filtered in through his ears and took up residence there, putting pressure on the backs of his eyeballs, even making his teeth ache numbly. Grinding them together, he wrenched his hands away from his face and looked wildly around the room.

Standing, he pushed the many papers scattered across his desk to the floor with one enraged swipe of his hand. His eyes prickled uncharacteristically; blinking furiously, he ran a hand over his closely shaven head and sighed. Quickly, he vacated his office and made his way to the Observation deck; he quietly ordered Icarus to ensure that he wasn't bothered.

Once he got there, he simply stared into the sun; he didn't bother to wipe away the tears that streamed down his cheeks.

* * *

**Notes**

It's been literally forever, I know. Life gets in the way sometimes, even when you don't give it permission. I'm very sorry and I sincerely hope that a few of you are still out there and interested in this story. This chapter is pretty short and I'm not entirely happy with it, but I thought I'd post it as a signal that I'm still alive. I might edit further down the road... we'll see. Enjoy, as of now. Not sure when I'll post another chapter for this, but I plan on posting some new stories/series in the near future. I have a lot of ideas swimming around in my head.

DonStyles: While I'm not sure I can say that I appreciate your "constructive" criticism, I can understand where you're coming from. All of the things you brought up were legitimate observations, and I do not want to start an argument with you. However, you should know: there are indeed astronauts and scientists who study dust and do what Coty does, it's a real occupation; as someone who has experience with eating disorders, there are those who can prepare food for others while not eating it themselves (you may not think this is true, but it is); Coty is a complex _fictional _character with many facets to her personality that may contradict (my characters inspire me and take on a life of their own; they reveal themselves to me as they see fit. And, I know that I contradict myself often in the things I say and do... haven't we all once or twice?), she is a nurturing person and, in my humble opinion, one that others would naturally gravitate toward in a situation such as the one the Sunshine crew finds themselves in. Also, this is just fan fiction, meant for the entertainment of others. But I'd love to read some of your writing. Please let me know where I can find it.  
LuxRara: Your review has reignited my faith in the kindness of others. Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you. Know that you are part of the reason I decided to continue with this series. Stick around for some fun. I hope I don't disappoint.


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